A High Schooler’s Insights on Student Wellbeing

Interviewer: Something that's become increasingly important to schools is really thinking about student well-being, especially after the pandemic. There’s a lot of stress on young people, particularly in independent schools, where there’s pressure to perform. What have you found to be really supportive to your well-being?

Student: Well, I agree. Coming out of the pandemic, there was a lot of worry about how big the transition would be. I personally dealt with a lot of anxiety and even panic attacks. What really helped me was getting out of the house more, even though that was part of what stressed me out. Just hanging out with friends and picking up a sport helped. Basketball has been a huge help for me. So yeah, I think if you're feeling anxious about going out or going to school, try to find people at school you can lean on and do things with.

Interviewer: Both of the things you mentioned—getting out of the house and playing basketball—are things you can do both inside and outside of school. You also mentioned the importance of social connections. What do schools do that help build bonds among students, and what do they do that might hurt those bonds?

Student: I think a lot of times schools see friendships as a distraction. But I know when I’m put in groups with my friends, even though it rarely happens, I have more fun, I’m prouder of the final product, and I do better overall. What they do well… hmm, that’s hard.

Interviewer: Maybe project-based learning?

Student: Yeah, absolutely. Encouraging group projects, not solo work, really helps. It can build bonds with people you're not friends with and strengthen connections with the friends you already have. You can meet new people and see if you like them, which could lead to new friendships.

Interviewer: It sounds like schools shouldn't be afraid to let you work with your friends because that can be really motivating. At the same time, mixing students up can help form new connections. Individual work, though, doesn’t really help foster those bonds. What about things like the school schedule—how long lunch breaks are, how long classes are, or even classroom setups? How do those impact the relationships you build?

Student: In terms of classroom setup, I’ve found it works best when I can pick where I sit at the start. That way, I can sit with people I like and get along with. If side conversations happen, the teacher can always move people. But what often happens is I’ll start talking to a friend, and then the teacher will put me next to someone I don’t like to stop the talking altogether, which makes me less excited to go to school and less motivated to do the work. So it’s about finding a balance between working with friends and not being distracted.

As for the schedule, I’ve had both short and long lunches, and without a doubt, the long lunches help me build stronger bonds. In the classroom, I can’t really be myself, but during lunch, I can hang out with my friends, play basketball, and just be me. Short lunches make the day feel longer and drain me over time. By midweek, I feel completely unmotivated, so longer lunches definitely help me feel more energized.

Interviewer: That makes sense. You’re trying to recharge during that time because it’s a long day. You also mentioned not always feeling like you can be yourself in the classroom, so having that restorative time is really important. What about your relationship with teachers? Is that as important as the content of the class? For example, if you don’t like a subject, can a great teacher make the experience better? How important is that relationship to your well-being?

Student: Oh, absolutely. Sometimes having a good teacher is more important than having friends in the classroom. I’ve always struggled with math—it never made sense to me, partly because of a learning difference. But in seventh grade, I had this math teacher who really helped me. She sat me down and walked me through the equations, and suddenly, I started getting it. I felt so proud of myself for finally understanding math, and I was excited to go to class. But in eighth grade, I had a different teacher who didn’t give me that same support. It felt like I had fallen off a cliff because my self-confidence was so high, but the new teacher didn’t help me the way the previous one had. A good teacher can really boost your confidence and improve your well-being at school.

Interviewer: Confidence and self-esteem are so important to well-being. A great teacher can help build those, while a less supportive one can take that away. It sounds like your seventh-grade teacher understood your learning difference and gave you the support you needed, but your eighth-grade teacher didn’t. Do you think the second teacher realized how their approach was affecting you?

Student: No, absolutely not. I think they were just doing what they thought was their job. But doing the bare minimum might work for some kids, while others need extra support. One thing this teacher did that really hurt my confidence was calling on me in front of the class when they knew I didn’t know the answer. It just made my self-esteem plummet.

Interviewer: That kind of public shaming is never an effective motivator. It seems like the teacher had no idea how much their actions were affecting you. So how could schools possibly know when things like this are happening?

Student: That’s a good question. I think some of it falls on the student. If I could go back and tell myself one thing, it would be that I wasn’t dumb; the way the teacher was teaching just wasn’t working for me. Instead of asking for help, I started goofing off. But eventually, I became friends with a really smart kid who sat next to me, and he helped me with the math. So I think letting students sit with friends can really help, especially if they can support each other in subjects where one might struggle.

Interviewer: That makes sense. Sometimes students just need someone who understands them and their learning style. You mentioned earlier that resilience plays a big role in finding ways to navigate the system. A lot of successful people with learning differences have had to rely on other resources and figure out how to make things work for them.

Student: Yeah, I think schools need to understand that pairing students with the right people can make a huge difference. For example, I’m not great at algebra, but I’m really good at geometry. I didn’t know that until my friend helped me with one thing, and then I started solving tons of problems. Finding the right pairings takes some troubleshooting, but once it clicks, it can really boost a student’s confidence.

Interviewer: That’s a great point. It’s like being a coach. A coach’s job is to understand their players’ strengths and weaknesses, to know how to improve those abilities, and to build a team that functions well together, where every player knows their role and contributes to the collective success. Coaches recognize that not every player excels in the same areas, but by understanding their athletes, they can assign roles and create strategies that allow the team to perform at its best. What if teachers adopted a similar approach in the classroom? 

Student: Exactly! Just last Friday, I was in math, and my friend helped me with geometry. Later, I helped him with a geometry problem. I was so proud that I could help him after he had helped me. It really boosted my confidence.

Interviewer: You’ve mentioned that sitting with friends in class can sometimes be really helpful, especially when you’re working on subjects you might struggle with. What are your thoughts on the idea of leadership in that setting? For example, if you’re stronger in one subject, could that be an opportunity for you to take on a leadership role? Should schools do more to intentionally create opportunities where students can help one another in this way?

Student: Oh, absolutely. I think being able to help someone else is a kind of leadership, especially when you’re helping them in something you’re good at. Like, if math comes more easily to me than to someone else, I can step in and help explain it to them. But in another subject, maybe they’re the ones helping me. It’s a back-and-forth, where everyone gets to take the lead in their strong areas. I think schools should definitely be more intentional about pairing students in ways that let this happen naturally.

Interviewer: That makes a lot of sense. It sounds like it’s not just about the academic work, but also about building leadership skills through peer support. And leadership isn’t just about being the best at something; it’s about knowing when to step in and offer help, and also knowing when to ask for it. Would you say that creating more opportunities for students to support each other—whether in academic settings or in other areas—could also help build confidence and stronger relationships?

Student: Definitely. But I think it’s also tricky for teachers to figure out who works well together. Sometimes I’d be paired with someone who’s really good at math, but if they’re my best friend or someone I don’t get along with, it can either be super productive or nothing gets done at all. It takes time to figure out the right pairings, but when teachers get it right, it can make a huge difference. In subjects where I struggled, like algebra, being paired with someone who understood it helped me improve so much. And then, in something like geometry, where I felt more confident, I could help someone else. It’s really about learning how to work together and support each other, which I think is an important leadership skill.

Interviewer: That’s such an important point—leadership isn’t just about standing out, but about being able to collaborate, help others, and know how to balance strengths and weaknesses within a group. It sounds like, in a way, taking on leadership roles in the classroom could be just as valuable as the academic work itself, because those are skills you’ll carry with you long after school.

Student: Exactly. It’s not always about being the best in a subject, but about learning how to navigate challenges and helping others do the same. That’s what leadership is really about, and schools should focus more on creating those opportunities. Whether it’s through group projects, pairings, or just more time to interact with classmates, I think those leadership skills can grow naturally when students are given the chance.

Interviewer: It sounds like when we talk about student well-being, we’re really talking about confidence, connection, and creativity. Thank you so much for sharing your insights. Is there anything else you want to add?

Student: Nope, that’s all. Goodbye, blog!