Vulnerable Cheerleader Leadership and the Costs to Organizations
In our recent study looking at Organizational Resiliency in Independent Schools we discovered a new and alarming leadership style has emerged in COVID-times. Leaders are in pursuit of a problematic and idealized version of leadership that we are referring to as the Vulnerable Cheerleader.
The Vulnerable Cheerleader aims to strike the perfect balance between demonstrating just the right amount of vulnerability balanced by maintaining an otherwise positive and encouraging façade. Leaders perceive that this balance will not burden their community with their grief or fears but will also model permission to grieve and be human during this time of disruption. There is a perception that achieving this ideal is not only the best way to lead others but is essential to the organization’s success.
Leaders are experiencing fatigue attempting to hit this exact target of being vulnerable enough but not too vulnerable, maintaining a façade of optimism while putting aside their own pain and grief. What vulnerability leaders are demonstrating is tempered by either the strategic modeling of this vulnerability or the rupture of the façade (leaders reaching a breaking point in self-management and breaking down). You may be embodying the Vulnerable Cheerleader leadership when doing any of the following:
Trying to show just the right amount of vulnerability
Worrying you showed too much or too little vulnerability
Lack a robust strategy for grief processing for yourself and the organization
Trying to maintain a happy/positive façade when not showing vulnerability
The allure of being able to unzip to share emotions and zip back up on cue demonstrates leaders' hunger for a sense of control in a time that is otherwise chaos. It demonstrates that upskilling has not occurred, an omission some leaders fail to recognize. It also reveals a leader's discomfort with their own grief and the omnipresent grief in their communities. Driven by the implicit (and at times explicit) messaging that leaders are supposed to have the answers/the skills to “be a good leader”, leaders have not fully embraced that perhaps they (1) do not know the best leadership style to navigate their organization through a crisis of this level and (2) need to develop the skills and competencies necessary for successful navigation.
The phenomenon of the Vulnerable Cheerleader’s emergence in COVID times begs the question of its origin. Part of its roots are reflective of White Supremacy culture’s perfectionism (in attempting to hit that imagined perfect balance between vulnerability and confidence) and paternalism (an assumption that the leader must know what is best for the communities based on their own interpretation).
The Vulnerable Cheerleader comes with a high price. In the pursuit of this ideal, leaders are struggling to understand their grief and see their role more clearly. Bouncing back and forth between vulnerability and cheerleading has daunting implications for the larger community as leaders risk burnout from the exhaustive pursuit of the perfect balance, employees struggle to effectively process their grief, and resources are not allocated to effectively navigate through the crisis of the pandemic.
The presence of the Vulnerable Cheerleader also risks driving expectations unrealistically high leading to further frustrations and resentments. Attempts to model the perfect balance of vulnerability tempered by a cheery disposition reflects the unrealistic expectation leaders have put on themselves and reinforces unrealistic expectations projected by others.
By contrast, if leaders were to embrace another model of leadership, such as what we refer to as the Compassionate General, it would reinforce the need for upskilling, strategic planning, and collaboration. An army leader would never go into battle without the proper training, their medic team, or their strategy. What’s more, they would be in constant communication with key leaders to navigate the terrain of the battlefield. Studies also demonstrate the most effective commanders know how to help their soldiers process their grief and trauma while authentically connecting with their own.
Leaders can work towards Compassionate General leadership style by:
Investing in skill and competency development for yourself and colleagues particularly related to Inner Work, Grief Processing, and Ritualizing
Accepting the organization is in crisis (this is a battlefield, not a game field) and allocating resources towards short term and long-term recovery strategies
Communicating effectively with the board and other key leadership roles to create a strategy for effective navigation through the next 6 months that minimizes negative short and long term impacts
The emergence of the Vulnerable Cheerleader alerts us to the need to develop new leadership skills for this new terrain. By cultivating the Compassionate General leadership style as an alternative, we ensure more resilient organizations while investing in areas of our own professional development that will serve us for years to come.
